When love grows cold our hearts tend to compromise seeking to find a suitable replacement only to discover there is no substitute for genuine love. Within the hearts of many of us lies a vulnerable definition of love. The foundation of our definition is flawed many times by the number of disappointments we have had throughout the years. With each disappointment we find ourselves redefining our expectations of love only to distance ourselves from ever truly experiencing the fullness of what love was intended to bring.
The Bible gives us a picture of when love grows cold. Matt 24:10-13 “And at that time many will fall away and will deliver up one another and hate one another. 11 “And many false prophets will arise, and will mislead many. 12 “And because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold. 13 “But the one who endures to the end, he shall be saved.
Why does love grow cold? The thermostat of love is turned down when we begin to turn away from the One who is Love. 1 John 4:8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. Love requires a “knowing”, and without it our definition of love becomes a fabrication. And without “knowing” the One who is love and abiding in Him we will drift further into the selfish lawlessness of the world and our flesh creating a greater chilling effect in all our relationships.
When love grows cold our gravitation to conflicts increases and quarrels ensue. James 4:1-2 What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. And you are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. When love grows cold it is replaced with selfish ambition. James 3:14-16 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. Selfishness brings about a raging war within our own hearts leaving us as well as others casualties of the war.
There is nothing selfish about real love. Rom 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. God demonstrated His love for us “while” we were yet sinners, opposing Him at every turn. Selfish love only gives in order to get something back, but Jesus condemned this kind of love. Luke 6:32 “And if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.
When love grows cold the body of Christ becomes disconnected, dysfunctional and useless as an instrument of reconciliation for the glory of God’s kingdom. Eph. 4:15-16 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love. Has your love grown cold?